I smell stomach acid.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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