i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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