I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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