people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
