honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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