I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
