You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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