So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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