I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
