Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My cat gives me a boner
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
