saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
