Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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