you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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