i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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