Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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