i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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