Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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