I'm laying in your front yard are you home
her vagine was all disorganized.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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