Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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