My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
