I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
