best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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