yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
