just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
