you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize