There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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