I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just pee around me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.