remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.