I feel like I'm in dance class right now
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you