did you get engaged???
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize