i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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