I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
