absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
