i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
