As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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