You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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