It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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