Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
