Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
