My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize