I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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