So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
