she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
