I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize