I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
