my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
