some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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