i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
