If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
