he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
