I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
