discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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