i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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