is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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