You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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