Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize