you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
