ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
