it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
