You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
