Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
