Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
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would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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