I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize