I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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