It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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